Begin by seeing the end.

prayer earthAlthough I’ve had many good fortunes in life, I frequently have “stumbled” upon them or opened a gate to a path leading to an unknown destination that happened to be the land of opportunity for my life’s current endeavor. Not to say I’ve lofted through life so far without working hard, thinking smart or  planning but because of the good fortune I’ve had, atleast in part,  it seemed to me there was no need to work much harder, think even smarter, and plan more completely than I already was. When one door closed, the next opened. And that seemed to work.

In my yoga leaning mind, doing anything too much seemed, for a time, in contradiction to what I so strongly believe; that opportunity is all around you and when you follow your heart and you become quiet enough to hear you inner guide -your intuition- you will receive and go where you are needed, and where you best “fit”.  Everything you need is already here. I’m sure of that.

I used to tease people with 5 year plans asking, “how do you know what will happen in 5 years from now? Will you still be alive? Will America still exist as a “free” country where  you can carry out your plan without being placed on a kill list? Will your desires and perspectives change?” It was inconceivable to me that someone could have a serious 5 year plan and also be open to unexpected gems life places in your path or the coincidences of fate that may sweep you in a different direction and propelled you towards greater health and a higher purpose. What if that gust of wind didn’t fit into your plan? Do you stick to the plan or go with the gust?

After doing some of this thing, alot of that thing, working here where I feel on purpose, working there where I make the money, living for my self, living for God, living to be of service, living for my child… I frequently feel a little lost, longing for a guide or road map that highlights the path leading to… well, I’m not even sure of where I want to end up. There are some adjectives I have my eye on: happy, at peace, inspired, having purpose, healthy, helpful… but until recently (and even now to a lesser degree) I don’t have a clear picture of the “end” goal, of where I want my path to take  me.

I trust God, the universe, will support me if I work hard and live “right”; according to universal ethical and moral codes, have good intentions and help others. But recently I’ve asked myself, “Is that trust in God, in the universe, taken for granted or not fully utilized because *I* am not doing my part to guide God’s supportive and giving energy in my life? Should I do more work, give more thought, plan more deliberately  so, with the support of God and the universe, I will arrive in the place in space and time that allows me to fulfill my highest purpose, realized my greatest health. If I combine my vision, or end goal, with the support I pray for and meditate on every day, I can someday sit back in the seat of fulfillment and contentment looking around at the reality I consciously created step by step, basking in the joy and sense of oneness that accompanies fulfilling my vision- embodying my dreams, intentions, intellectual efforts and spiritual commitment and discipline in the eventual “end goal”- the end of year 5 in the “5 year plan” I was once so skeptical of.

This line of thinking guided my evolution and change in direction from moving away from the 5 year plan to moving towards “the plan” and ultimately embracing it. Ah, now that feels whole. I’ve evaluated where I’ve been, what I learned, what I value, the lessons from mistakes. I sit quietly in my reality, in the present and take it in. I take off any colored glasses and commit to accepting reality with all its beauty, flaws, perceived shortcomings and triumphs. I deliberately peek forward. I make my visions boards. I revise them. It’s an exciting process. I have a plan. I can see the end. Its grand and  meaningful and I know only space and time are between us.

In the meantime, I practice my disciplines, devote my life to that which I value through ritual and spontaneity. And at this moment, I stand corrected, refined and evolved- this is a place when all humans meet. I trust the universe and God will provide and I don’t expect it to be in any particular form, but now I also trust myself to be a more active part of the process. I trust the universe more than ever as I move closer to the “end goals”, because I am experiencing God, the energy of the universe, interweaving with my visions and intentions, hopes and dreams to move me closer to the place where I can sit back -for a moment- in the seat of fulfillment and contentment knowing it was my mind, my heart and soul, my sweat and tears and my faith in God that brought me here. Its can be part of God’s plan and my plan as well. I no longer make a distinction. I have grand plans, and they are happening.

Do you?

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